Where Is The Love?
Updated: Nov 5, 2018
I started this post on Valentine’s weekend, in the midst of house painting, family visits, piano lessons, daddy-daughters date night, and house clean-up. A very, very busy weekend to be sure. And so, today I pick up my pen to complete my reflections on this celebration of love and friendship.
After twelve years of marriage to my wonderful husband, I am still often tempted to obsess over the perfect romantic getaway, surprise gifts and sweet nothings. Still expecting to have Puccini playing in my head all weekend long, swimming in chocolate and passion. But this weekend the house is being painted while my chipped nail polish mocks me: “You’re not going anywhere, missy!” And I look at my three beautiful daughters and know that they need a date with him more than I do. I get him every night, talk to him all day, and kiss him whenever I want. They, however, need to hear his sweet compliments and get his full attention because he is their Valentine, too. So, I gave my date to my girls. And in doing so, I felt that I helped love grow in our home.
Ironically, Valentine’s Day can be an excuse to turn inward and focus only on self. What we want, what makes us feel loved, and what fills up the empty places, rather than an opportunity to look around and appreciate those who have already given themselves to us every day. Those who walk next to us with compassion and a kind word. Those who wrap their arms around us in dark nights of pain and fear, and who laugh and smile in celebration of our success and joys. Where is the love? It’s not found in the dozen beautiful roses winking at me from my dining table, nor in the gorgeous card propped up on my night stand. The love is found in that moment of forgiveness after I have wronged him, and in that moment of grace that he extends when I have failed, and in his relentless belief in me and willingness to push me beyond my comfort zone in order to become all I have been created to be, and in the many different ways he himself continues to grow and change in order to be like Christ, in order to bring me joy. Today I look back over this weekend with a calm and content smile, at peace, and very, very grateful for this life and this man. We are not perfect, but we are being perfected in the One who loved first, and who makes our love possible.
My prayer for you is that as you look around at your life today you can spot those people who have given themselves to you. That you can see them with spiritual eyes that recognize the gift that they are… one of God’s great gifts of love to you. And may peace and a quiet joy fill your heart as you take in the precious treasure it is to have them by your side. Don’t allow yourself to be disappointed or disillusioned with matters of gifts and trips and candle-lit dinners. Don’t limit the love-proof to that. Look at the stuff that really matters. What a life of love is truly made of. THAT is where the love is.
He is with you!
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