There is a hush in the house.
The signs of busyness are everywhere: the clean laundry unfolded on the couch; the homework papers scattered across the end table; a stray tennis shoe peeking out from under the couch.
But everything is still. And in the quiet I fight to still my thoughts, which are crashing into one another all at once.
I have been avoiding grappling with a certain situation, and it has come to a head. I must finally face it head-on. So, I am here at home, in the stillness, trying to wrangle my emotions and ideas; give them a place to settle into, so that my heart can reflect and process.
And I am anxious.
Anxious that if I actually start to unpack these thoughts - long tucked away, out of sight, out of mind – that they will overwhelm and consume me.
This is the moment when I hear His voice speaking through His word…
Be anxious for nothing! (Philippians 4:6)
How can I not be anxious? What if this doesn’t work out? What if I look like a fool? What if I am rejected? What if Your purpose is thwarted?
Be anxious…for nothing.
In the silence, this is what I hear.
And then He reminds me…
But in everything
by prayer and supplication,
let your requests be made known to God…
And the peace of God,
which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your heart and mind
through Christ Jesus.
For some people silence brings torment. There are the dark thoughts that start to rage, carrying the fearful heart into dark places where the light is dim and Christ seems hidden.
And yet His voice still whispers, in the silence…
Be anxious for nothing.
The peace of God will guard your heart and mind
Through Christ Jesus, our Lord. Our Savior.
As I grapple with my anxious thoughts, I slowly start to hand each one over to Him.
And if I am rejected? – I know He is the lover of my soul. And He has surrounded me with those who do love me and believe in me.
And if I look like a fool? – may my transparency and simplicity allow Him to be glorified all the more. As I obey even in my weakness, His fame is amplified. If I look the fool, so be it.
And if this doesn’t work out? – I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep walking. God is with me. He will show me the next steps.
And what if His purpose is thwarted? – His purposes are never thwarted. His is able to do exceedingly and abundantly all we could ask or think. I trust Him more than I trust any human. Even myself. I am willing to wait to see His purpose completed, in the way He sees fit.
So, here in the silence I am challenged to surrender.
Silence is good. Silence is healing. Silence is revealing.
Embrace the silence. Even when it is uncomfortable and you feel the anxious thoughts bubbling up. Take each one and hand it over to Him.
As you give Him your fear, He will give you His peace.
As you give Him your doubt, He will tell you to believe.
As you give Him your weakness, He will give you His strength.
It’s the great exchange! Take time for silence. Get your peace. Get your joy. Face your fear and recognize it for the shadow that it is. Then go back out into the busy world and shine! Free of fear and full of faith.
He is with you,